Maybe not everyone has felt it yet, but the main danger for most of us is not from the outside, not from the infernal virus, but from the inside. No one was prepared for house arrest or isolation. Moreover, we did not do anything wrong!
Many families are simply not adapted to spend 24 hours a day together, in the same locked space and this does not mean that “families are bad” or “there is no spiritual closeness”, but just someone needs a closer distance, someone further away. And when we are forced to reduce this distance by force, and even kept in this state for a long time, there are very unpleasant special effects that can lead to mental disorders.
So what do you need to do to avoid going crazy at home? TOP 10 recommendations that will help defuse a difficult situation:
1. Try to live according to the regime.
Discipline trumps discouragement, the decline of inspiration, the constantly changing weather, and the situation in the world. Therefore, we write a clear daily schedule, taking into account the following rules: Wake up and go to bed at the same time; determine the active hours (it is advisable to disable notifications from social networks and messengers for this time); allocate time for Breakfast/lunch/dinner (you need to eat on a schedule at least three times a day); take breaks from work to communicate with friends and family, view social networks and physical activity; add rituals that divide the day into morning, lunch, and evening.
In fact, no matter how strict a regime you set up, you will still not be able to follow it scrupulously (no one can). Spontaneity will still seep in, blur the schedule, break-in like a draught. But the mode is a twig that can be grasped in a pool of uncertainty. It’s time to drink tea-so we postpone lessons, even if they are unfinished, postpone work, go to tea. The regime failed today we will return to it tomorrow morning as if nothing had happened.
2. Set aside time for privacy.
Everyone has the right to privacy. The daily schedule must include hours that each family member spends alone.
Not with children. Not in conversations with a partner. Not in the household up to the ears. Does not clean the closet, does not take out the trash.
A person is with himself and does what he wants. If he wants to, he plays computer games, locks himself in the bathroom, reads a book, whatever. This is his sacred time, while others pretend that he is not at home (and are better off also busy with their own Affairs).
If you don’t add this time to your schedule, you won’t have it. And very quickly, you will accumulate tension and heavy fatigue from your loved ones, when you can no longer physically see or hear them.
3. Maintain stability.
These are stable actions that provide the necessary stability to our psyche. The brain needs confirmation that everything is fine and our lives are not in danger. For example, in the morning it can be a trip to the shower and shave (for men), applying makeup, creating a hairstyle (for women). It doesn’t matter that you may not be seen by a single soul today. This should be done for yourself and your mood.
Set aside 30 minutes for morning tea or coffee. And prepare, finally, the perfect Breakfast, which you, in a hurry to get ready for work, did not often indulge yourself. And enjoy every bite of food and every SIP of your favorite drink.
Evening rituals are designed to show our brain that the day is over and it’s time to go to bed. This can be a warm bath, pleasant music, etc.
4. Keep your distance.
If before the quarantine you saw children two hours a day after work, kindergartens and schools, and sometimes met your husband only in bed, do not rush to catch up. There is no need for sudden educational games and intimate conversations if they have never happened. Or if they always disgusted everyone and went hard.
Get closer to your family members gradually, and give yourself time to get to know each other and the situation again. Give everyone a zone in the apartment, even a small one, even a window sill, but it will be “his” zone, where he goes about his business and tells everyone “I’m in the house”.
You may have to snarl and show your teeth to get your distance respected.
5. Don’t be a hero.
Now is the time to stop demanding the unthinkable from yourself. Do not try to be a person who manages everything, does not break down, and does not freak out. Who is engaged in charging the whole family in the morning, then quickly unfolds home training, works effectively, and still manages to use the time of quarantine for creative experiments and reflections! Then he comforts everyone and manages to fix the kitchen cabinet door. Listening to an Opera and a webinar at the same time. At night, he writes a bestseller and a business plan for his startup.
It probably won’t. Most likely, it will be exactly the opposite you will wander aimlessly or frantically rush around the house, trying to simultaneously somehow work, sit the children down for lessons, and at least something to cook for everyone to eat.
And you are also a great fellow if you do not periodically break into a panic. And if you do, it’s okay, too. The version of the norm. The psyche is now adapting, it takes a lot of effort.
6. Observe information hygiene.
I hope that we have already passed the stage of tracking how many people in the world are ill, and we understand that flipping through news feeds every second only makes it worse.
However, completely falling out of the information field is also not an option. Therefore, the solution is to read the news only on official sources. Although, let’s face it: if we check the news, not a few times a day, but once every few days, the planet will not stop, and our psyche will only become healthier.
7. Take care of your body.
Mental health depends very much on the state of the physical body. The activity has become much less, and this is bad. But! We can exercise in the morning, dance in front of the mirror, do stretches, squat, and work with dumbbells and elastic bands.
Add a hand and foot massage every night. Take care of your body during this period as much as possible: face masks, body creams, etc.
Be sure to ventilate the rooms. Go out to breathe on the balcony, if you have one.
8. Keep your hormones in shape.
In order for the body not to enter a long-term crisis and not” get out of chronic diseases, it is necessary that three hormones are normal: serotonin, endorphin, and oxytocin.
Serotonin gives us strength, is responsible for the emotional background. And it is provided by the universal formula “SPS” sports, walks, intimate relationships.
Endorphin is joy and living together. Now we are “excluded” from public life, we are separated from each other, but you have your family next to you. Practice some joint rituals, laugh, dance, play Board games, have Breakfast together. Do everything to have fun.
Oxytocin is released during physical contact. Hug. It works.
9. Do useful exercise.
Think: why are you bored now? You write: what is not in your life now? Then write: what has appeared in your life now that you may not have expected? Why is there time in your life? Books, movies, communication with children-all this can give you a resource to get out of the crisis.
10. Save your strength.
They need to be enough first for a few weeks of quarantine, and then for a few weeks of getting out of it. It’s a long process. Most likely, you will be a little exhausted and irritated by this time, like badgers after hibernation. And the world after the quarantine is lifted will not immediately return to the default settings, it will find some new contours, and you will also need to get used to them. They will probably seem stupid and dishonest at first and will be terribly annoying.
So now take care of yourself wherever you can. In every detail.